MOM

She sat there watching me all day long,

Her feet soaked in balmy water

Her eyes awaiting a return

She sang and sang in mellow

She swayed waiting to be carried away.

I didn’t see it coming,

I didn’t believe that the angels would turn their back on me

Her eyes and the long smooth hair,

The flawless she and the sinless heart so dear

Her idea of loving, and the selfless cheer.

I lost her its true, lost her for life,

am gonna have to make it through

I look at her photographs in disbelief

All that remains of her are the memories so perfect

The graceful lessons, the selfless care, the sacrifice and the humble prayers

She told me about the Lord, made me understand love, mothered me to understand life

And now she sits up there watching me once again…

I miss u too much

I know there will never be you, never another YOU!

:)

Ever thought of getting your fingers to type a few a words and then a few sentences and then paragraphs until you realize you have a whole page or may be 2…

Something of this sort happened to me this evening as I sat on my chair staring at the monitor not knowing how to keep my jobless mind occupied. And then a thought clicked. May be I could pen down a few feelings. But what kind of feelings was I talking about? Well would that really matter was the next question. All I was here to do was pull out all that I was reeling in the world of and change the photographic moments into an elaborative print. Isn't this what life is about anyway? Saying a little, sharing a few thoughts and smiling over all the contemplation?

It's funny, although I have given my mind a quick fix I m running short of things to say or rather write. Writers call it writer's block but hey I am no writer. So does this mean it is normal? Does everyone go through this phase when they sit to write? Well I guess so. I am thinking it is more than normal because I just heard one of my colleagues say, "hey dude I don't know what to write next." I smile. A sigh of relief actually. Man! I am still wondering how authors write pages, books and sequels. The list is never ending. So what? May be they cant go on jabbering for hours like me or may be singing away without submitting oneself to the ticking of the clock. I laugh. I kind of feel better at my own status. Yes true I can't really write and all that but who cares may be I am better at a lot of other things although I miss knowing how to inscribe the numbness (if so be) of my mind. I pause and speculate. Well I am trying to find the next thing to say. But as I glance over what I have written, it's unbelievable how I have filled a page without even noticing I had done that. It's amusing how I started with a blank brain and managed painting so many expressions. Hell no! I am not talking about filling a page but I am just surprised at having been able to play with words. Tap on my shoulder. This is a big leap you know.

Well I have something to say. If you are someone like me with no aptitude to write whatsoever or rather have no knack for it, just start the way I did. I mean you really don't need much straining to do. Just put down what ever is running in your head. Don't be bothered about how it sounds. Because I realize it can't get all that bad you know. I mean how awful can it get anyway. It's not like it is the end of the world. I smile as I finish and put a full stop.

I, ME, MYSELF

NO STARS, NO ICONS.I PRAY...I BELIEVE...I’M INSPIRED…
I, ME, MYSELF!!

Mixed emotions

A LEAP, A BOUND

SIGH OR A FROWN

Delight, TEARS, LAUGHTER AND RAIN

SHATTERED BROKEN OVER SHADOWED TERRAIN

A SHOOTING STAR I WANT TO GRAB

I TRY, I LOSE BITTER N BAD

A STATE OF FLUX

A TUNELESS LYRE

NOSTALGIA, MELANCHOLY, A TEAR TO SUMMARIZE…

BLAH!

I sit on my bed lost in meaningless thoughts.

The burden seems heavy but the shoulder remains firm.

I wonder whether I m strong or may be a good pretender.

A lot lies beneath that earthen pot.
A molten rock explains the haziness of thought.

An expression comes and leaves.

A thought or two I release.

I prude, I ponder, I want an answer.

I shut my eyes; allow a ray of hope to pass.

I blink and lose the path!

At the sound of a gun shot I wake out of my sabotaged ease.

I don’t understand, rather don’t seem to

The hide and seek, the black and blue.

I reach no answer, no summit that I can comprehend.

I become conscious of the errand my thoughts make.

A shudder, a shout, a quiet breath!

I close my eyes once again.

Lost in trance yet again!

Gay and jobless

Got you reeling.. Didn’t it? Jobless and still so gay. Well to start,I would like to remind my dear readers that the little pocket oxford dictionary I have has more than one meaning for the word ‘gay’ if you are still wondering what the other meanings is – well it is 'happy". Let me diagnose my topic. How can you be jobless in today’s modern world and manage to keep your ever crumbling happiness curve on the permanent high?? I don’t want to sound like a geeky guru here but folks let me tell you that I have found the secret to happiness!
It is striking how much today’s youth longs for happiness and how little success the youth have achieved in getting there. The reality of today's youths’ struggle with happiness settles down as an irony in my belly, as pursuit of happiness is theme advertised everywhere , whether it be buying a pair of torn denim or getting a jet-set hair do for the weekend party.
I believe every youth is a vulnerable candidate out there in this unforgiving world since this is that stage of life when reality of life creeps in and the well fed educated youth heads out from sweet home in search of a job. Job!! All that education one acquires comes to a serious test as the young job searching bull realizes that having a job and being able to make a living out of it is not quite enough!
“why not?” will be the question yelled, “why not am I happy for I have a sound career ?” is a question that only finds a way to echo louder.
folks if you find yourself in the picture I have painted then I am here to be your rescue for I tell you, you can be jobless and gay. Imagine how high and wide will your happiness stretch if you have job, a well paying one!!
Whats the secret then? It’s easy and for free!!Just find out what makes you happy . Figure out what drives you passionate . Explore your desires and locate what really interests you. Every man and woman walking on this earth is surely truly inclined on doing something. And once you have discovered your real desire, never let it go!! Whenever you get free time pursue that interest and make friends with people who share your interest. Soon you will find yourself excited and willing to explore life and it wouldn’t bother you what you are doing for your living.
Folks your happiness mantra is out! Go out there and fulfill your dreams and never let your job or your problems slide you down the road to sadness for life is all gladness!!!
HURRAY!!!!!

Well, i leave it for you readers to decide your mantra of happiness!But trust me the mantra i quoted above,works magic....By the way folks.... WHAT'S YOUR HAPPINESS MANTRA???

ibroken lyre

Happy i am in my own incapability,

with conviction i walk not giving another thought to my inefficiency.

assurance i know not of,

perfection is not really a thought.

all i shout about is my brokenness,

An instrument that makes dead souls talk.

It's not about the years in life but the life in years

and that's the life I speak of

Life that has felt the power of my strings,

Life that knows the intensity of my tune.

I am BROKEN LYRE,

complete in my brokenness.

the brokenness is a comfort,

the brokenness buries all the emptiness.

sometime life leaves us with no choice

and i m glad that i chose to be me

ME, an instrument that makes music.

i cannot be seen nor touched,

my strength lies in the power,

the power that people feel when they hear of my undying tune.

happy I am in my own incapability,

with conviction i walk not giving another thought to my inefficiency.

i am a BROKEN LYRE, happy in my brokenness...

suicide is not the answer

SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER..GETTING HELP IS!!!

Suicide is not chosen;it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain...that's all its about.you are not a bad person,or weak,or crazy or flawed because you feel suicidal.it doesn't even mean that you really want to die!!it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now.if i start piling weights on your shoulder,you will eventually collapse no matter how hard you try to stand!Will power has nothing to do with suicide.Ofcourse you could cheer yourself up if you want to...

We are blessed with this gift of life just once and we have no right what so ever to take it away because its god who has made us.and remember he has made us for a purpose!Its not about ending life because we have unbearable amount of pain,infact its about finding a way to reduce your pain and about finding out ways to cope up with the pain.people often try to commit suicide because they are seeking relief from pain.Folks remember relief is a feeling and you got to be alive to feel it.You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek,if you are dead.

Research shows that there is one case of suicide every 8 hours!!Doesn't this ignite something in your heart?These unfortunate people had no hopes to live,no one to tell them how precious there life was..but you folks out there reading this piece have hope!HOPE THAT ENDURES,HOPE THAT WILL NEVER DIE..HOPE THAT YOU ARE UNIQUE AND A HOPE THAT GIVES YOU EVERY RIGHT TO LIVE!!!

Life isn't all about fun and frolic..It doesn't promise us bed of roses.Its a package of love and hate,of tears and happiness..of joy and sorrow.So when you can laugh all your way through why give up when you have times of sadness?Aren't both of these an inevitable part of our lives??

You know folks,there are many ways to cope with suicide..Remember there is light at the end of every tunnel.If any of you today is depressed or thinks that your life has no flavour and you have no hope to live,remember the almighty who created you is your everlasting hope!!whenexperiencing thoughts of ending your own life,there are many things that can help you stay safe:

1.Stay away from things that you might use to hurt yourself.

2.Go somewhere you can be safe.

3.Talk to someone supportive.

4.Challenge those suicidal thoughts.

5.Be mindful of your thoughts.

6.Most importantly.PRAY!!

So folks,if you are anywhere close to even thinking of commiting suicide,look away from that thought and turn to the almighty above you,and believe me,you will find all the reasons to smile and live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!